17. Dream Come True
After the failed short love story with Igor and the series of very unfortunate dates with other men before I met him, I had to take a break. Wanted it to last longer than three months, but at the end of March I went to Wrocław for my best friend's birthday party. Quite a big party, where her other friend came over as well, a very muscular and handsome guy that I usually see once or twice a year whenever my bestie comes to Warsaw and we all party together.
He's not subjectively handsome, he's objectively handsome. Just really attractive. So even though it's easy to rest your eyes on his face, I never even thought of him, it's just something you don't do, and well, if you are self aware, you know your limits and who's in your reach. Anyway, he was at that party. At some point when I was sitting alone, he joined me, took an album with instax photos we all took earlier and started drawing dicks on all of my pictures. By doing so, he activated in me a silly teen girl, I was like: Oh you're the worst, stop it! I cringe just by thinking of it, but surprisingly he reciprocated it and we were teasing like that for a moment.
Then we had another funny encounter and then we moved to a club, where all of us landed on the dance floor. I was very tipsy, in my world empty from boys, feeling quite great to be honest. I really enjoyed those three months without any man. It felt freeing. No worries, no problems, no bad dates. So, as I was dancing, suddenly this handsome guy stormed through the group of our friends and found himself right in front of me. Grabbed me brutally (but nicely, too) and started doing this weird, kinda' sexual dance with me. It lasted not even a minute, however...
Needless to say that me, a nun, a librarian, a renewed virgin who had zero contact with men in the last three months, got really excited. Like in that episode of Friends, where Rachel had a crush on Joey, at some point they were both trying to pass each other and then he lifted her and moved away. I had the exact same reaction as she had in that moment. Giggled inside like a littler girl. Therefore, unhealthily I activated in my head a new crush. I was just like a thirsty castaway in the middle of a desert and someone gave me a bit of water. So, to avoid getting this shit in my head, I've decided it's time to get back to Tinder to find a proper new crush.
The process is simple - I create a new profile with some catchy and original bio and the best possible pictures I have, trying to avoid using the ones from like five years ago. And then I start receiving likes from the other guys, so I begin to swipe and for a week or so, any match I get is the one where I was the second one to join it, which horribly forces me to text them first. I'm not doing that shit anymore. Well, maybe with some exceptions, but in general no. Fuck them boring men with no personality and conversation skills of a cauliflower. Just a huge waste of time and thumbs movement.
While swiping there I get some new matches, but without texting them, I just keep swiping and getting more pointless matches. I was doing it on Friday 31st of March. A boring day, like any other, had no expectations. There was no one that I wanted to erase from my mind, maybe except for that handsome friend of my bestie who also lives in Warsaw and I will see in a few months again. But then magic happened and he got replaced in my head by Franc, who popped up randomly between mediocre Tinder guys. A handsome, muscular guy with pictures from his travels and some sporty stuff. Unusually for me I swiped right - it was a match.
I’m not a target of the objectively handsome and muscular guys, fully aware of that, so usually I don’t waste my likes on them, knowing well there won’t be any match. But sometimes I do it by accident or just out of curiosity, or maybe just to check if I’m still correct in my opinion that muscular guys date solely other muscular guys. But we matched, probably a glitch in the matrix, so I kept on swiping and didn’t even plan to text him, because surely his reply would be non existent, as it always happened in such situations before.
As I was still checking other profiles and swiping left and right, not even a minute after matching with Franc, he texted me. That is something even more unusual, because people on Tinder not only do not text first when they’re the second ones to match, they almost never text you after seeing you liked them too, waiting for you to do it. I was very surprised, seeing his text: Hey, I really laughed a lot while reading your bio. With a wide smile emoji.
Well, yes, because if not the hot one, then I must be the funny one and my bio usually contains some jokes or hooks for them to catch and initiate the conversation. So he liked it, and he liked what he saw on my pictures enough to text first. I checked again his profile and couldn’t quite believe it's happening. We started talking and then we were unable to stop. It was a text after text, talking to him felt like falling into a rabbit hole, we just couldn’t finish it, even though both of us were at work. I was funny, he was funny, we both replied immediately, felt like there were so many things we needed to say.
We talked like that for an hour or two before he finally said he should get back to work, what I ignored and didn’t reply. Then texted him again just after work and he replied immediately. That’s how it all started, my dear readers. Now would be a perfect time for me to say: It never happened before, seriously I never felt that way, it was never that easy from the very beginning with any other guy. Then you could show me probably ten posts here, where I wrote that indeed it did happen already and was that easy from the very beginning a few times before.
No matter what, that’s how it went - naturally and easy. We talked the whole Friday and Saturday, when intentionally I told him something like: Oh, just wanted to send you a selfie from my elevator, but I forgot you can’t send pics here on Tinder. He caught my bait and we moved to WhatsApp, just as I intended. We continued talking there for the whole day on Sunday and Monday too, when we went for our first date. A simple date, but probably the best one I ever had, feeding my narcissistic or needy side.
But. And there were a few buts. I should mention that this whole time I couldn’t fully enjoy talking to Franc. There was something that didn't feel right. I had a weird feeling he’s a scammer or a catfish. Because whenever before I talked to a handsome, muscular guy, he didn’t know about it, as I was talking to some Indian scammer using his pictures. Usually they want to move to WhatsApp immediately, like after two or three texts, then they also proceed with calling you baby or honey way too soon. Then they make plans and say they’d love to buy a house for you, or other bullshit.
Franc didn’t do or say anything like that, but still I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He started calling me with a few cute nicknames, which felt a bit premature for this level, but still nice. He also started the sex talk, very small and innocent, but I should pay more attention to this detail. He was bi, for most of his life he was straight, used to have girlfriends. Imagine that. Another bi guy that was setting a trap for me, here we go again. No one knew about him, apart from some friends that he met through some guy he was dating once. He has never been in a long-term relationship, all his entanglements lasted maximum a few months, the last guy even preferred to go back to his ex after dating Franc. And that's a very important information, but I was in such awe I ignored the potential red flags.
Going further, his name - doesn’t sound quite Belarusian to you, does it? You'd expect some Volodya or Yura, not Franc. I asked him about it, he said he’s named after one famous artist, because his father is a painter. Seemed realistic. Then whenever he was sending me pictures on WhatsApp, he wouldn’t send them in a normal, obvious for everyone way, that the picture stays in the conversation and you can see it later whenever you want. No. Every time he sent me a picture, he clicked on this special button allowing me, the viewer, to see it only once. So if I closed the pic, it was gone forever. Like someone's husband looking for a discreet twink that would suck him.
Also his nick/name on WhatsApp before I saved his number was Frank, not Franc, a small detail, like them all, but they were all building up. And another thing - we set our date on Monday evening, he told me he'd like to meet around 6 pm, because his mum leaves at 10 pm and he would like to have enough time with me. I was like - you surely want to spend the last evening with your mum, don't you? He was like no, really no need to. So I started suspecting maybe it's not his mother that's leaving or no one is leaving actually, he just needs to be home by 10 for some other reason. Weird, weird, weird. But I couldn't push this enough, he was very determined to meet that day, didn't want to postpone it even to Tuesday. Ok.
On Monday, just before our date, 40 minutes to be exact, even though we planned to go to my bar, he told me he booked a table at some other cafe. And he booked it under the name “Franek”. One - suddenly I realised I will be late for that date. Really late. Two - why the hell would he book a table under a fake name?
I got very annoyed, angry even. Why would he change the place literally the last minute? Was he informed that someone he knows is planning to go to my bar? Was he afraid of being seen by someone? My paranoid brain was very helpful at the moment, of course. I asked him: Why Franek? I thought your name is Franc. He replied: It’s only easier for the waiter. [cute name he called me], don't worry, I will also be late. If it will take you more time, I will wait. We will finally meet, that's the most important.
So he was really trying to calm me down, even though I didn't do any drama or anything, probably he could just feel I got tense and weird. So I left my home, hair didn't want to cooperate, I got a huge pimple on my cheek, felt ugly, was running really late and still thought he could be some kind of scammer or catfish. I was really irritated. On the tram I was texting my friend that I'm this close to telling Franc it's pointless, that I will just leave the tram and take the other one back home, sorry, I just can't do it. But I didn't, for some reason. I got to my destination, briefly saw him through the window knowing it's him. Really him. The guy from the pictures. Taller than me, muscular, handsome, with beautiful hair. He immediately smiled when saw me. Big trouble. Huge. Oh my goodness, help me heavens.
I went in and walked over to his table, immediately noticing a bouquet of flowers in front of him. I was stunned. It felt like I'm in a movie. And couldn't much ignore other people there, as most of them were staring at us. Well, can't blame them. They saw a really handsome guy coming there with a bouquet of flowers, then waiting for someone, clearly his date or a girlfriend. Then they saw me coming in and receiving those flowers. Not what they expected. But the gay waiter seemed happy for having the representation, I guess.
I can't quite describe what happened in that short time when I got there - he smiled nicely, I smiled shyly, we hugged and started our date. I was really intimidated by him and everything that's happened. Rushed to the bathroom to take off my hat and fix my horrible hair, got back to him, seeing him still smiling at me. It was really unbelievable, like in a dream. When I sat down, our knees touched, instinctively I tried to move away, but he was like: Come on, no need to, it's not a problem, right?
Devil. Real devil. I can't even remember what we were talking about, I was in such awe of him. He was touching me randomly, not even by accident as I was doing it to other guys before, trying not to be that obvious. He was really muscular, I couldn't help but look at his huge arms and he saw it, getting real cocky. Told me: Touch it, try how hard they are. I did, red like a beetroot and shy like a kid. He had a really nice voice, like an actor, like he had some vocal training. His Polish was good, too. I asked him if he was an actor, he laughed and said he used to be. Then no idea why, but we talked about ways of breathing and he got another opportunity to tell me to touch him.
He grabbed my hand and put it on his chest, so I could know how it feels when he speaks in some special way. Oh my God, what a player. And I completely fell for it. Our hands were touching all the time. Other people could be extinct for him, as he looked only at me. It was so seductive, so sweet and flattering. I felt like a lamb sitting next to a lion. At some point he even wanted to do that thing where people stare at each other for a minute in complete silence. We did it. I lost, like, five times.
I noticed his hands were big, knowing perfectly well my type of guys love to hear such compliments. In general they love when I admire some aspects of their body or just innocently notice such things: Wow, your hands look really big and rough. He replied: And surely you know what they say about the guys with big hands? In my case it's true. Bubble cracked a bit, how could he be telling me he has a big dick on a first date? Well, he lost some points for doing so, but what minus five points could do to a sum of five hundreds?
In general I was in a presence of a great player, someone much, much better than me in this game, apparently. I was drinking wine, he was drinking tea and ate some Mexican meal. He had quite an appetite, it was nice to watch him eat (housewife mode activated). Then, after more than two hours, we got the bill, he paid and we left. While we were standing outside waiting for my Uber (didn't want my beautiful flowers to be exposed to the metro or tram), he was standing dangerously close to me, still staring at me like I was some kind of Mona Lisa. Right before my car arrived, he leaned forward and kissed me on the lips. In the middle of the street. I was speechless.
We said goodbye and I got into the car, feeling like I was floating in the clouds. As if nothing could spoil this moment. In the future when I will be thinking of my past, this moment will be one of the few when I truly felt happiness and knew what it is. This one short moment. It was beautiful, from the very beginning to the end. Felt like a dream come true. Like all my bad stories could finally be put away as this was the beginning of my new, beautiful and happy story. Can't describe the amount of hope and joy I felt that evening.
When I sat down, I put the flowers on the seat next to me and looked at the window, feeling like I'm truly in some kind of movie. Then I heard the horrible voice: These flowers better not be wet, from the brute driver. Bursting my bubble and making me come back down to Earth. I texted Franc when I got home, just as he instructed me to do before we parted ways. I sent him a selfie from my elevator with his flowers next to my face, and immediately he texted me back: Goal for today fulfilled, such a smile you can see behind these flowers, that I'm smiling myself!
And it went on like that, until we met on Wednesday, two days after our first date. He made sure we will see each other even before our first date. It was all just... so great. Magical. Unbelievable and so good. Too good. And to quote my lovely Samantha from Sex and the city: Honey, if he seems too good to be true, he usually is. She was right, as always. Franc was too good to be true, and with time he turned out to be probably one of the worst people I've ever met. And I fell into his dick-sand like the stupidest, silliest idiot - moron ever.